33 – hope and joy

So are we nuts? Well, yes, probably in one sense. We make the best decisions we can under the circumstances. The maxim that says the road to hell is paved with good intentions doesn’t say what every other road uses for pavement.  And while we have our fascination with the evil folks of this world, I think that most people genuinely make the best decisions they can at every given moment.

sunset on the overpass
sunset on the road that will take us to our next home

The question comes because today we’re moving all our stuff again, in a directly opposed action to the one we took on barely three months ago. In the last week of September 2013, we got rid of more than 2/3 of our stuff to move from a three-bedroom house into the 250-square-foot House McNugget, with the full intent of me continuing to work virtually as we made our way around the country.  Today, this morning in fact, we are moving the 1/3 of our stuff that we kept, plus a few bits and bobs acquired along the way, into a two-bedroom house, and…

And the remainder of the sentence is the part that is fascinating me at this very moment.  We have zero ability to predict the future.  I’m pretty sure that, by looking at our peregrinations over the last year (see 29 – looking back), the map alone shows that inability quite clearly.  Don’t take this wrong – I’m not complaining, not in the slightest.

After things unexpectedly changed with my employment, we came back to Texas intending to find jobs for both of us, find a ten- to twenty-acre bit of land, something we could clear a homespace on, then park the House McNugget on that piece of land while building a permanent home for ourselves.  That was one scenario that contended for first place, anyway.  We left the nitnoid details up to circumstances, because if you think you can control every detail of a given future, you’re delusional–or even more delusional as the case may be.

However, not one single thing in the first sentence of that previous paragraph has actually come true. Only one of us has a job. We’re about to move into a house someone else owns, on land someone else owns, for an undetermined amount of time, but by definition it cannot be permanent. It can and hopefully will be quite long-term, but it can’t be forever.   So what the hell is up with that?

My best explanation comes from a quick look at the last five years of our lives together.  About a year before we got son John safely to 18 years old and into the tender arms of the US Air Force, we started making choices like the newlyweds that we actually were. Let’s go here, let’s try this, let’s do what makes us happy.  We took the opportunity that my job gave us to live where we chose.  More than one person has referred to our  lives together as an adventure, and I think we tend to treat it like that as well.  While people would probably say something to a pair of newlywed 25-year-olds who followed a path similar to ours, it would be, “Now’s the time to do it, while you’re young.”

Pretty sure no one would call either one of us “young.” But it is an adventure–and if you think I’m trying to justify it, well possibly to myself. There is hope and joy that is very welcome in this next step… but if you look at our adventure in retrospect, there is hope and joy in every step. I believe I may have finally realized that the hope and joy is within us, not outside of us.

Takes me a while sometimes.

Britni, Ethel and Dexter (ok, not Dexter) wish you a safe and sane holiday–as do Corey and I.  This move will disconnect us from the ‘Net for a bit, but we’ll be back up and running soon. Hope your holidays are warm and wonderful, filled with love and hope, family and friends, and as much joy as a heart can hold.

Warmest regards,
Lisa

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