Much is changing so fast, and nothing is changing fast enough… because the world long ago refused to work on my time schedule, and I have beaten my wings bloody against that reality throughout my life. As my sister once said to me, “It is not a good idea to ever pray for patience, because the good Lord does not give you patience–He gives you opportunities to LEARN patience.”
For me, and possibly for you, as well, impatience can generate that fire, that purpose that creates something greater than you believed you could. It can also be the first spark in a conflagration that destroys everything you wished to accomplish.
So, putting my nearly legendary impatience to the side for the moment, I am contemplating the next steps for my future. The questions are big ones–what does success look like for me and for my marriage? They are inseparable–we found that out with the first job Corey took on here… 14 to 15-hour days with 4-hours driving time may be good for our bottom line, but they are not who we are together–our time with each other is precious, not something we give up for a buck. Or even a lot of bucks.
For the first time in many years, I am without employment, but with time to think. And for the first time ever, with a partner who truly believes in me.
I feel… limitless.